Mooniek Seebregts, Certified Integrative Coach

AN IN DEPTH LOOK AT SHADOW COACHING

Do you want to know about Shadow coaching or Integrative coaching? If you read on, you will want to try at least a free sample coaching session.
You will find more information about Blueprint Shadow coaching and its cost at the bottom of the page. But first, here are a few clarifying answers...

By the way, have you seen the film, The Shadow Effect? I show the movie often in Sacramento, California. See also the website: www.TheShadowEffect.com

Why would we want to take up Shadow coaching?

IN SUMMARY: Shadow sides are all the good and the bad parts in us that either help us or prevent us, consciously or unconsciously, from doing what we want to do or from being who we are. Acknowledging our good and bad traits, bringing them to the awareness, fully accepting them and utilizing them makes us feel richer, fuller, and bigger: expanded. It has significantly changed many lives for the better.

It is not easy to find our shadows on our own because we unconsciously hide the parts, qualities, or traits that we don't like in ourselves. We reject parts of our personality.

You can look at the shadow as the storehouse for all the unaccepted parts of ourselves, the aspects we pretend not to be, or the parts that embarrass us. Included are the faces we don't want to show and the parts we don't think we have but that we surely dislike in others (these are called the dark shadows). Also, shadows are the glamorous and caring qualities we see in others and long to have (these are called the light shadows).
If you can see a trait in another person, light or dark, you have that quality or trait too. Owning this quality opens many doors in and outside of oneself.

Are you ready to explore your shadows?

When should you pursue coaching and learning about your shadows?

*When you are ready to challenge the person you assume you are in order to unveil the person you are capable of becoming. If you want to be free to be the type of person you know you can be, you need to accept all of yourself: the good, the bad, the strong, the weak, the awesome, and the negative. Then, you will truly be able to be a great person!
*When you don't feel loved enough.
*When you feel worthless and small.
*When you feel that people don't treat you the way they should.
*When you are tired of being fearful and you want to connect to your courage.
*When you feel others wrongly have power over you.
*When you want to understand your feelings.
*When you want to find the positive side of the parts you hate or hide in yourself.
*When you want to change those nagging voices in your head which always know better (you should have, if only, why didn't you, ooh you fool, you messed up again, how could you...?)
*When you are ready to shine, to feel beautiful, and to be admired.
*When you understand that one cannot become enlightened by merely imagining the light, but rather by becoming conscious of the darkness and the light and getting all the advantages and gifts out of it.
*When you understand that there are times when it is useful to be lazy, greedy, mistrusting, magnificent, whiny, beautiful, adorable, dependent, sweet, mischievous, idiotic, stupid, needy, etc. These traits can be useful at the right time and in the right quantity.
Are you ready? I offer you a safe and supportive coaching process.

How do you get to know your shadow?

The easiest way to get to know your shadows is to observe what throws you off balance when you are with other people. People mirror the parts of themselves that they do not accept, the parts they never developed, or the traits they have forgotten.
For example, I observed that I disliked greedy people. Then I realized that I didn't ever allow myself to be greedy. I realized that this stopped me from being greedy with my time, an action that could be beneficial for me at times when I needed more time for important things in life. By understanding that every human being embodies every possible human trait, we can stop pretending that we don’t encompass negative traits. Additionally, if we do not perceive a certain quality in ourselves, we could not recognize it in another person. It doesn't mean that you are exactly like the other person. You just have that particular quality too, in more or less quantity.

Why do we not know about our shadows?

Most of are not educated about this, although the knowledge has been around for centuries. We, like our parents, want to give ourselves and others the idea that we are okay, happy. So, we all live with our masks.
To get to know your shadow, you need the courage to look at yourself honestly; that effort could make you feel vulnerable. Will you allow yourself to be vulnerable? (Actually this might be a shadow too.)
You will no longer need masks when you have accepted ally our ugly and marvelous qualities and when you understand that you are in essence not different from any other person. Shadow work will make you feel more connected to yourself and to the people around you.

You say: but.... I still don't feel like looking at the stuff I’d rather hide.

The truth is that our dark side pops up everywhere, especially when we are stressed, tired, hungry, emotional, vulnerable, etc. We may yell at our children, hate our life, eat too much, hardly take care of ourselves, get mad at the world or our partner, allow our spaces to look cluttered, get overwhelmed, feel fearful, underachieve, etc.

And when we do something significant like start up businesses or become parents, we need to have access to our light shadows.
Ironically, the people around us know our shadow, whether they express it or not. They understand why we overcompensate, overeat, overdo, under value, underperform, etc. They see how we deny ourselves, our beauty, our courage, our potential, and our love and affection. They see when we are not assertive or when we give in to low self esteem. Deep down, they understand how small we keep ourselves.

The reward of Shadow coaching.

There is a gift waiting for you when you accept your shadows! For example, let's look at a strong emotion: hatred. Are you willing to own it instead of ignoring it or reacting on it?
What might be the advantage or gift of feeling hatred?
Everyone sometimes feels hatred; it is a common human emotion. What everyone does with the emotion makes it positive or negative.
Taking a step back and looking at that feeling without judgment and asking ourselves what the feeling brings gives insight. It might give distance from a certain situation or a particular person. If distance is what you need, then accept the idea that your hatred is protecting you. (In the coaching you will find out much more from this feeling.)
Finally, step back and witness what has become of your hate after acceptance. I guarantee you that something positive has happened. Your body will even feel differently.
Another example:
You dislike people who behave like an idiot. You spot them a mile away. What it really means is that you dislike the idiot in yourself. Valuable questions are: 1. Why can you not allow yourself to be an idiot? 2. When in your life did you stop allowing yourself to be an idiot?
The next question is: What is the gift of not being an idiot? It turns out that you worked hard at being a smart and interesting person. The drive and determination were advantageous because they helped you get where you are in your life.
You will learn to see that by looking at the idiot in yourself without all the judgment, by merely examining it, that fighting against being this idiot robs you of the right to sometimes be an idiot. How about laughing at yourself, forgiving yourself, and playing with your idiot part? Consciously choosing what to do with your life, your moods, your talents, and your creativity happens when you embrace the idiot part of you. Indeed, it is the opposite of fighting against it. (Read the book The Dark Side of The Light Chasers by Debbie Ford.)

Unraveling our mask and owning all of who we are is a challenge and an adventure! The ego feels that it begins to lose control and tries to keep a lid on the pot. It has been instructed for so long to hide the truth. With care you can help yourself and your ego. It takes honesty and compassion to own a part of yourself that you previously disowned. It is a shift in perception.
The reward of this work is that you will discover and become your true self. Consequently, you could be an idiot in public without beating yourself up. You could have fun with it. You will have a better relationship with yourselves and others because you will feel freer, more powerful, and more loving toward yourself. You won't have to prove yourself to others anymore.
When you become more whole, when you accept all of who you are, and when you embody all your traits, you will naturally gravitate to those other people who are whole as well. That is exciting because you will have more honest relationships when you are loved for the imperfect person that you are.

As a Master Integrative Coach in the Shadow Work since 2002, I promise I will be there with you while taking you through a 16 coaching session process to reveal the shadow beliefs that are in the way of your living your best life possible. Are you ready?

In conclusion:

Shadow coaching or Integrative coaching helps you find your own true answers from the heart instead of just coming from the mind. It is about expanding your awareness and about understanding the excuses and the self sabotaging behaviors you use. It's about you truly giving yourself options and choices. I offer you a beautiful 16 week process that will change your life dramatically for the better!

We use the books: The Dark Side of the Lights Chasers and The Right Questions written by Debbie Ford.

The results are guaranteed when you do the fantastic work!
The cost of this amazing proven successful 16 session process with lifelong benefits is only $1,760.

In support,
Mooniek Seebregts,
Master Integrative Coach, Life Coach

Try a free sample session of about 30 minutes!
Confidential. Safe. No traveling
Coaching is available in English and the Dutch language

via phone, email, Skype, or in person.

Office in Sacramento USA: (1)-916-760-8754
Office in The Netherlands, Europe: coaching@freeandaware.com