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Want to know about Shadow Coaching/Integrative Coaching? If you read on, you will want to try at least a sample coaching session. Information about this you can find on the bottom of the page. But first a few clarifying questions... By the way: have you seen the film 'The Shadow Effect'. I am showing the movie in Sacramento in June and July. See also website: www.TheShadowEffect.com
Why would we want to know take up Shadow Coaching? 'Shadow sides' are the good and the bad parts in us that either help us or prevent us, consciously or unconsciously, from doing what we want to do. Our traits that live in the shadow. Acknowledging our good and bad traits, bringing them to the light, and fully accepting them and utilizing them, makes us feel whole, more, rich, fuller, bigger. It has changed many lives. Want to try it? Our shadow is the not owned side of our personality -- the parts that we hide or don't like in ourselves even reject... Our shadow is the storehouse for all the unaccepted parts of ourselves- the aspects we pretend not to be, the parts that embarrass us. The faces we don't want to show, and the parts we don't think we have, but that we surely dislike in others. Also they are the glamorous, caring qualities we see in others and long to have more of. The idea is that if you can see a trait in another person, you have that quality too. Owning this quality opens many doors in and outside yourself. Are you ready to try it out? You'll want to know about your shadow when: When you don't feel loved enough. When you feel 'worthless' When you feel people don't treat you the way 'they should'. When you are tired of being fearful and you want to connect to your courage. When you feel others have power over you... and you want to change this. When you want to get to the bottom of these feelings. • When you are ready to not feel so 'small' anymore. • When you want to find the positive side of the parts you hate in yourself. • When you want to change those nagging voices in your head which always know better (you should have, if only, why didn't you, ooh fool, you messed up again, how could you...?) • When you understand that one cannot become 'enlightened' by merely imagining 'light,' but rather by becoming conscious of the 'darkness' and getting all the gifts out of it. • When you want to know the gift of owning your shadow: you can use that disliked part of yourself when necessary. There are times when it is useful to be lazy, greedy, mistrusting, magnificent, whiny, beautiful, adorable, sweet, mischievous, idiot, stupid etc. How do we get to know our shadow? The easiest way is to register what throws us off balance when we are with other people... The idea is that we attract people in our life we need, who mirror back the parts of ourselves that we do not accept, never realized, or have forgotten. For example, I used to dislike people who seem very greedy, or people who acted 'very loud'. I realized that I didn't allow myself to be greedy or loud. This stopped me from being greedy with my time or not being able to stop spending money. The reality is that every person embodies all possible traits. And if we understand this, we can stop pretending that we are 'not everything'. I learned to recognize that I sometimes need to be loud if I need to be heard, that it serves me to be greedy when the bank account is empty. The key is to understand that there is nothing that we can see or perceive that we are not or could not be. If we do not perceive a certain quality in ourselves, we could not recognize it in another person. It doesn't mean that you are like the other person. You just have that particular quality too, in more or less quantity, recognized or not. Why do we not know about our shadow? Most of were not educated about this. We, like our parents, want to give ourselves and others the idea that we are okay. So we all have masks. To get to know the shadow, we need courage to look at ourselves honestly and that can make a person feel vulnerable. Do we allow ourselves to be that? You no longer need one or more masks when you know your parts, when you have accepted all the ugly and the marvelous. When you understand that you're in essence not different from any other person, you feel more connected with the people around you. You say: but.... I still don't feel like looking at the stuff I rather hide The truth is that we cannot deny our 'dark side.' It keeps popping up, especially when we are stressed, tired, hungry, or vulnerable etc. We yell at our children, hate our life, eat way too much, don't take care of ourselves, we are mad at the world, or our partner and our spaces look cluttered.. Ironically, the people around us know our shadow! Whether they express it or not. They understand why you overcompensate, over eat, over do, under value, under perform etc. The reward But... if only we would realize that there is a gift waiting for us when we accept our shadow! For example, look at a 'strong' emotion: you feel hate. Are you willing to own it instead of ignoring it or acting on it. What might be the gift of your hate? First, we must feel and recognize this feeling. Know that what we feel is okay. A human being feels. Then, look at that feeling of hate without judgment and ask yourself what it 'brings' you. You may find out that it gives you distance, for example, from a certain situation or a particular person. If that is what you need, then accept the idea that hates protects you. You embrace the hate, accept it. And then see what becomes of your hate. I guarantee you that something positive will happen. Another example: You dislike people who behave like 'an idiot'. You can see this in someone else, spot it a mile away. What it really means is that you dislike the idiot in yourself. The questions are: why can you not allow yourself to be an idiot and... when in your life did you stop allowing yourself to be an idiot? The next question is: what is the gift of 'not being an idiot'? Turns out that you worked hard at being a smart and interesting person. The drive and determination can be seen as gifts because they helped you to get where you are right now in your life. One can see, now that you look at 'the idiot' without all the judgment, merely examining it, that fighting against 'being an idiot' robs you of the right to make choices. To choose what to do with your life, your moods, your talents and your creativity instead of busying yourself proving that you are not an idiot! Unraveling our mask is a challenge and an adventure! The ego begins to lose control and tries to keep a lid on the pot. It has been instructed for so long to not let the truth out. But with care and truth you can help yourself. It takes compassion to own a part of ourselves that we previously disowned. It is a shift in perception, a change in the lenses we look through. In my opinion, it is important to understand that the reward of this work is that we become who we truly are. (So, in our example, you can be an idiot in public without beating yourself up. You can have fun with it.) This means that we are able to have a better relationship with ourselves and others. Feel more free, feel more powerful inside and more loving towards ourselves. We don't have to prove ourselves to others anymore, trying to show that we are not this but that. When we are more 'whole', when we accept all of who we are and that we embody all our traits, we naturally gravitate to those other people who are whole, who reflect 'our wholeness'. That is exciting, because we have more honest relationships, we can be vulnerable, we can give true feedback and we are loved for the imperfect person that we are. And, yes, everyone has the ability to shine light on our own dark and light sides. However, it will only happen if your desire to change your life for the better, is stronger than your desire to stay the same. As a Master Integrative Coach in the Shadow Work, I can promise you to be there with you while taking you through a 16 coaching session process to reveal the blocks (shadow beliefs) that are in the way of you living your best. Are you ready? In conclusion: Shadow Coaching or Integrative Coaching helps you find your own true answers from the heart (gut feelings) instead of coming from the mind. It is about expanding your awareness. Understanding the excuses and the self sabotaging behaviors you use. It's about truly having choices. I can offer you a beautiful 16 week process that will change your life for the better! We use the books: 'The Dark Side of the Lights Chasers' and 'The Right Questions' written by Debbie Ford. Cost of this beautiful successful 13 session process is only 1430 dollars.
Try a free sample session of about 30 minutes! Home | About Mooniek | Divorce Coaching | Dating Coaching | Life Coaching
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